بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Many people have asked me how I came to Islam, and I often share the
short version of my story, but now I think it’s time that I share the
full story of my journey to embracing this beautiful religion.
It
began about eight years ago with a dream that I had that I will never
forget as it was the most unusual dream and totally out of the ordinary
in the terms of people in my dream, this will make more sense as I go
on…
It was the beginning of the year in 2002,
I was
preparing to get ready to start my studies in accounting. I had recently
moved to another suburb from where I grew up, and it felt like it was
going to be my first day at school, meaning new surroundings, people I
don’t know and of course study.
It was my first day at college
and I was in my first class. It had been around 15 minutes into the
class when I saw this girl walking in late.
I usually wouldn’t
really pay that much attention but from where I originally came from
these types of “looking” people were never seen and there was a lot of
hatred towards them. Her name was Fatima; she was a Lebanese Muslim girl
wearing hijab (head scarf).
We were now about to begin our
second class for the day and when I walked into the room, I saw Fatima
and, for some reason, I felt a bond already to her and asked if I could
sit next to her….This was the beginning of our friendship which
Alhamdulillah has lasted all these years. Through college we were
inseparable even teachers used to comment on us and asked if we were
sisters…
Throughout the years even though I was a Christian, I was interested in learning about Fatima’s religion.
She,
of course, shared what she knew and I always saw the passion in her
eyes when she spoke about Islam, and this was surprising me as I didn’t
really have that passion inside about my religion. We even had our
religious debates which would usually end up in me being angry sometimes
as I was unable to answer or fight back about some topics as there was
no right answer I could give when it came to Christianity. I had so much
respect for Fatima. I remember thinking about how she has to wash and
pray 5 times a day, cover herself in the middle of summer and not to
mention fast all day when Ramadan came around. At that time, I struggled
to make it to church on Sundays even though I considered myself a
devout Christian.
Even though I was Christian and Fatima was
Muslim, we were very similar in other ways. I was never one to flirt
with men, I was actually shy towards this kind of thing, I also never
liked to wear revealing clothes and this made Fatima comfortable with me
as she was similar in this regard. One day Fatima and I were walking
through the college going to our usual spot to sit for lunch. It was our
normal thing to do but this day really caught my attention. As we were
walking past this certain spot, something triggered this dream that I
remembered having at the start of the year before I started at college.
I
remembered having a dream of me walking with a girl who was on my right
side who had a hijab on; we were walking in the exact location in my
dream and towards the same area. Usually people wouldn’t take much
notice of dreams like this but for me it shocked me, I actually stopped
and froze and said to Fatima “oh my God, oh my God. I have dreamt about
this before”. I never had Muslim friends, never associated with Muslims
and especially didn’t dream of them, to make it even more strange I had
never gone to that college or been inside the college but my dream was
exactly the same as when I was walking with Fatima that day. People may
think this is just a dream, who cares, but I believe it was pure
guidance from God and by His will our friendship was my introduction to
Islam.
From that day on for some unknown reason I became more and
more interested in Islam and began asking more and more questions and
at the same time, losing more and more of my own faith. This has always
been my principle that if you doubt your own faith and you are unable to
find answers to those doubts then there is obviously something wrong.
it is my duty to pass on the message of Islam, if you don’t accept it then that’s your choice
To
top it off, Fatima decided to one day provide me with DVD’s of Sheikh
Ahmed Deedat’s debates with Christian scholars. This was my turning
point, as from this day on I realized that my religion was not the right
one, I mean they were Christian scholars that could not answer
questions about my so called religion, so how was I to answer or
understand it? I freaked out!! I am not over-exaggerating, I actually
went home crying after discussing it with her thinking “Oh my God, what
am I going to do?”
At that time I was living with my former
partner who also was a devout Christian. He tried to calm me down and
was thinking Fatima was brain washing me about Islam and convinced me
likewise (well to some extent). I went to her the next day and said I
don’t want to talk about religion anymore, her response to this was so
simple “it is my duty to pass on the message of Islam, if you don’t
accept it then that’s your choice, but I have done my duty, so on the
day of judgment you cannot accuse me of not passing on this message”.
Years
passed by and of course we remained best friends. I started spending
more time with her family and through their actions I started learning
and appreciating Islam so much more. I loved spending time with them;
there was no drinking of alcohol, no haram (unlawful) things. I felt
like it was some of the best times of my life. Throughout the eight
years I went through stages and I believe by the will of God it was His
tests on me to show me and lead me to the right path of Islam.
My
first stage was complete ignorance, I blocked out all religions, I
wanted nothing to do with Christianity or Islam; I just didn’t want to
accept anything from both.
The second stage was my rebellion, I started rebelling against my loved ones and giving in to Satan’s whispers.
The
year 2008 was one of my worst years, I really struggled and I suffered a
lot throughout the year with various problems, and that was at the
lowest point in my life. I had left my former partner of 7 years, my
work was suffering, I was losing dear friends and gaining bad ones, and
not to mention treating my family badly. At that time I was hiding from
Fatima as I felt this overwhelming guilt from my actions and didn’t want
her to be disappointed.
The last stage was my wakeup call; I had met another Muslim whom I believe was the final turning point
This
got me to ask “Why should I even care?” “Why do I have this guilt?” I
mean she was my closest friend and knew everything about me. I felt
guilty because I knew what I was doing was wrong, I knew that God would
not like what I was doing, I knew that I was heading towards the hell
fire if I didn’t stop and for that I was deeply ashamed. Fatima was my
first connection to Islam and through her I found Islam as the truth,
the right religion. So for me, hiding the bad behaviors from her I felt
like I was hiding from God even though you can never hide anything from
God. (I am not saying I thought Fatima was any type of god, but I felt
her as my only connection to the true religion, I had no other Muslim
friends therefore if I did haram(unlawful) things with my non Muslim
friends they did not care)
The last stage was my wakeup call; I
had met another Muslim whom I believe was the final turning point. They
stopped my (unlawful) actions in its tracks and quite bluntly took
control of how I was acting. This may seem fairly harsh but at the time I
would not have listened to anyone else, and I thank God so much for
that. I don’t think that anyone at that time, a Christian, Jew or even
an atheist, could have brought me out of the mess I was in.
I had
known from the day I watched the DVD’s that I was going to be Muslim, I
just needed a final push in the right direction. God works in only the
best of ways. He showed me Islam 8 years ago in my very first dream of
a hijabi girl who became my best friend, He showed me what it is like
not to believe in anything, He showed me what it is like to live
a haram (unlawful) lifestyle, and now He has shown me what it is like to
live a halal (lawful) life and the true happiness from inside for
living this life.
I finally took my Shahada (testimony of faith) on the 1st of January 2009, with Fatima by my side and also her father.
Alhumdulillah, I am so proud to be a Muslim.
iloveallaah.com
p/s - i hope by the glory of Allah, This story will inspire us more towards Allah, and in hope that our faith will become more stronger and make us more appreciate Islam as the most gracious Religion that Allah already given to us.. Insya'Allah